THIS BLOG WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE THRIVING MAMA VILLAGE PAGE ON JULY 2, 2020. THE BLOG HAS NOW MOVED TO THE MAIN MILK & OIL CO PAGE. SOME EDITS MAY HAVE TAKEN PLACE.
Today I’m taking to you who are not going through postpartum & you who are not pregnant.
I am calling upon friends, family, coworkers, neighbors. The women & men... because it concerns all of us.
But why does it concern YOU? You may be wondering now, well because:
a thriving society takes care of its mothers, so mothers can take care of the children that will one day take over the reins of our community. It’s group work. It’s all hands on deck.
So I am calling on everyone to remember to:
New Mothers need support & guidance without an overwhelming number of visitors & overbearing, yet well-intentioned, unsolicited advice. But new mothers also need to be heard & to be held through the process.
We, as a community, need to find the balance within such behaviors; it is our responsibility to watch our words & how we carry ourselves around new mothers so we can be helpful & mindful, respectful & present.
How a new mother experiences her postpartum journey will affect her motherhood journey. How she manages herself during this crucial period of time is a direct reflection of us as a society.
A new mother is a mirror of her community’s values. Give her peace & warmth, she will reflect that; give her doubt & guilt, she will reflect that.
So why do you need to be mindful? How can you be present & respectful? How can you be a helping hand?
Be respectful. Don’t show up uninvited but make yourself present. Send a short reminder that says “I’m here if you need me”.
Be helpful. Don’t invite yourself for coffee but offer to help. Drop some food by the door.
Be mindful never to ring a doorbell in a house with a baby, you never know how long it took to get the baby down & mom may need a break too. Text instead. If she doesn’t answer, call later. She might be resting now, but she may still need you later.
Be respectful with her choices & limit unsolicited advice. She needs time to discover her mother intuition.
Be there as help. Don’t burden the new mother with extra tasks like making you coffee or tea when you visit. Wash some dishes. Fold some laundry. Be helpful.
Be mindful of breastfeeding & bonding. You’ll be able to pick up the baby later when mom is ready. Remember many moms offer because they feel they have to offer.
Be supportive. New mothers need a village. Be the foundation of the village. Be an example to her.
When a woman begins her postpartum journey, regardless of the length of her pregnancy; regardless of the outcome of her birth; regardless of the birth story; she will be changed forever.
Change takes time.
Change brings resilience.
But her body & mind will be working full time, on little sleep, to adapt. The feelings are enormous & incomprehensible. The fears are real. The loneliness is tangible.
Be mindful of her process Be respectful of her space
Be helpful during the transition
Be present so she knows she has support
Be a rock to them
Be the image we want mothers to reflect